Are You Hard Wired To Fail?

Do you ever set important goals and then find yourself really struggling and not being able to meet them?

I used to have MANY sleepless nights when I first started my business. I would freak out about where my next dollar was going to come from or how I’d finish a project or what to do about x, y and z, it was endless. Worry was taking over my life.  Until I was able to read some terrific books on worry and learn about ways that really helped stop me in my tracks and enabled me to push past my worry and fears to create more success for myself.  The thing is there was definitely something stopping me and a lot of times I had NO clue what it was.

Have you ever felt like something was stopping you? You may be right: your subconscious mind can influence in you subtle ways to keep you from achieving your goals!

Here’s how it works: when you experienced a challenging event as a child – even something as seemingly small as your third-grade teacher yelling at you for asking a question in class – your subconscious downloads the details of that moment and marks the memory with a trigger. It’s like there’s a trigger in your mind saying, “There’s trouble here!”

If a new event activates that trigger, the creative problem solving part of your brain shuts down – stripping you of all the resources and capabilities you should have. So you stop moving forward. And you may not even understand why you stopped because it isn’t a conscious decision. Your subconscious is the one that decided to shut you down.

Want more information about how past events affect current performance, even without you being aware of it? Join my friends and colleagues Jack Canfield (America’s Number One Success Coach and “Chicken Soup for the Soul” author) and Pamela Bruner (Business Success Coach and EFT tapping expert) for a free video, “Are you Hard-Wired You To Fail: What’s Stopping You From Succeeding.” Details here: http://tinyurl.com/6o3d3u3

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Seek Out New Opportunities

Last week, I explained how overcoming setbacks is as an easy as A.B.C.
A-Ambiguity       B- Build      C-Commit
This week I am going to show you how easy seeking out opportunities is. It is as easy as N.O.W.

stands for “Never-as in “Never Giving Up!”  By making, a daily mantra of “I will never give up” means there is not a minute, an hour, or a month that you are not seeking out new opportunities.  New opportunities are the only way to completely come out of a setback.  The only way to find new opportunities is give it all you have every day!

stands for “Opportunistic”.  Before you see that word and think “I have to chase down every opportunity that comes my way”,-wait.  Have the spirit of being opportunistic but make sure it’s the right fit for you.  By going out of the box and chasing after something “just because” is not the smart way to do it.  Instead, figure out your niche and be opportunistic within that realm.  By being patient and not settling, you will find out it pays off in the long road.

stands for “Weigh-as in Weigh it all out”  When you do find those opportunities that fit your niche, do not jump in right away.  If time permits, make a list of pros and cons and see if this opportunity is truly right for you.  Sometimes people are so excited about that first job opportunity that they do not weigh out the pros and cons.  Six months later after the “Newlywed” feeling wears off, they find they are regretting their decision.

So that’s it…last week I gave the A.B.C’s of how to deal with setbacks and this week I showed you how N.O.W. will help you seek out new opportunities.

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Avoid Focusing on Set-backs and Seek out New Opportunities

Avoid Focusing on Setbacks

There comes a time in one’s personal and business life, where a setback comes in and rears its ugly head.  When it does come, because we know at some point it will, a person has two choices. They can either sit there or focus on all the negativity that comes with it.  Or they can come to terms with the reality of the set back  and push forward.

It is as easy as A.B.C.

 stands for Ambiguity.   A trait that is tied to most entrepreneurs which holds the meaning: The possibility of interpreting an expression in two or more distinct ways. When facing a setback, especially one that leaves a person in a negative situation, the best thing to do is look at in an ambiguous way.  Instead of focusing on how negative this setback is, look at it in a positive way.  And turn a problem into an opportunity. Real Life Application:  Make a list of 10 to 20 positives you can gleam from this particular setback.   “I am not sure where I’m going but I still prepare myself diligently for the journey every day” ~Peter Baskerville

stands for Build.   A setback requires a person to start over or build from the bottom up.  Take the list that you made of 10 to 20 positives and use them to make a game plan.  Part of making this game plan will help you build confidence not only in yourself but also in keeping a positive outlook on this setback.  “Whatever good things we build end up building us.”
~Jim Rohn

stands for Commitment.   In this time where your environment as well as situation is unstable, you have to be committed.  More importantly, you have to be committed to yourself foremost.  Now that you have made a list, a game plan, write up a commitment contract where you outline what you are committing to.  “There’s a difference between interest and commitment.  When you’re interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit.  When you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results. ”  ~Tom Robbins

 

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The Right Attitude & Mindset is a Must ~Be like the Bee~

                       Aerodynamically, the bumblebee should not be able to fly, but the bumblebee does not know it so it goes on flying anyway.      Mary Kay Ash

There is a saying that goes “You are your own worst critic”.  This simple six-word sentence is especially true when it comes to negative thoughts.  In the last two weeks, I have encouraged you to take big risks about your life, business, even your actions.  I can challenge you and motivate you to reach these amazing goals, but there is one thing I cannot do.  I cannot take away your own negative thoughts that probably consume you when something really, positive is happening.

Did you know it takes extra effort on your part to worry and think negatively?  Whereas, with positive thinking, if you make the decision to rid yourself of negativity, there is no extra effort needed.

Just to prove to you the amazing benefits of positive thinking, I am going to give you three simple but mind-altering tips today!

1.  Positive thinking is what keeps your motivation at its peak

Your attitude about life, how you see the world and respond with actions-both emotional and behavior wise-is determined by the way you think.  So instead of letting your attitude control you, make a decision to control your attitude by thinking positive.

2.  Visualize Your Positivity by Daily Affirmations 

You can also use visualization and affirmations by using tools such as a Life Vision Board or even a journal.  By creating or writing out images of what and how it would feel accomplishing a goal, you use them to replace the negative thoughts.

3.  Avoid Focusing on Set-backs and Seek out New Opportunities

If something does not work out or you are overwhelmed by a project, take a step back and think it through.  Now, I am not saying focusing on all the negative aspects or reasons why this happened.  Instead, go through the entire process and write out a positive lesson learned for every failure.  By focusing on finding a lesson learned, you are not allowing the negativity to flood your mind.

When your negativity starts to slip into your mind, do me a favor and think about a bee.  A bumblebee just the way its body is designed should not be able to fly.  Bumblebees are hard workers who do not know this about their body.  They just fly and focus on what job is ahead of them.

~Be like the Bee~

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You are who you hang out with…

Have you ever heard this statement before? “You are a product of who you spend the most time with.” I’ve heard this a number of times in the past two years since I started my own business. In fact my friend and Master Coach, Rob Berkley just wrote about this and tells me and our Mastermind group this all the time. I think I finally get it now…

Me and Kristi Frank at the GKIC Superconference in NashvilleI just came from a very inspiring and idea filled event- Glazer-Kennedy Insider’s Circle Marketing SuperConference in Nashville. It was amazing to me how being surrounded by immensely successful people really elevated my thinking and opened my eyes to a much bigger way of thinking and doing things. Instead of figuring out how to grow my business incrementally, I left with some much larger ideas on how I can grow my business fast in a much shorter time frame. This is what happens when you hang out with incredibly successful people more often. That’s me in the photo with Kristi Frank, she was one of the original members of Donald Trump’s The Apprentice.

I have to admit, it did take me a while to get this. I really had to take a hard look at myself and who I was spending time with on a regular basis. I really needed to get rid of those people that, to put it bluntly, sucked the life right out of me. I realized if I wanted to move forward in my work and my life I needed to try to upgrade my friends and colleagues. It takes immense courage to be able to look at who you’re spending time with and ask the question- are these the people who are going to lift me up in work and life or are they going to bring me down? If you want to become really successful, the best thing you can do is hang around with hugely successful people.

The next courageous step is to move towards letting go of those folks who are bringing you down. Take a look at who you’re spending the majority of your time with and seriously look at upgrading your colleagues and friends. Take it from me, you deserve to be incredibly successful and happy. Why not have people in your life who are supportive and want to help you get there.

When you do this exercise, you are basically focusing on your soft skills. You know, how self-aware are you to “see” who those people are that you need to let go of. Are you willing to take that risk?

One thing I did was join a Mastermind group that meets every other month. Hanging out with these successful business owners has improved my business tremendously. In addition I also travel to two – three conferences a year where I get to hang out with entrepreneurs, like Kristi Frank, who are making thousands and millions of dollars. As I said earlier, you are who you hang out with, so why wouldn’t you want to hang out with people who are hugely successful. Don’t wait, upgrade your colleagues and friends now. Join a networking group, a mastermind group, go to a conference that attracts people you want to hang out with that can help you be successful- you deserve it! [digg=http://digg.com/business_finance/You_are_a_product_of_Who_you_hang_out_with]

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