What’s the price of someday?

It’s midnight, January 1999, and I’m tucked under the covers in my hotel bed, my computer on my lap. The room is dark and quiet, except for the sound of the ocean crashing along the beach. Through the window, I can see a few stars in the night sky.

I’m away at a meeting for my new publishing job, and I should probably be asleep. Instead, I’m writing another long email to my executive coach, trying to figure out what the heck I’m going to do with my life.

I have a decision to make, one I’ve been putting off for months. Deep down, I know my marriage is over, and I’m terrified of ending it. Yet every morning, I get up and go about my day as though everything is fine. I go to work, come home, take care of our dogs, and follow the same familiar routine.

In November, I wrote:

“I really know deep down in my unconscious what I need to do, but I’m too frightened to do it.”

Here I am, two months later, still going around and around.

My parents divorced when I was younger, and I’d promised myself I’d never repeat their mistakes. Somehow, ending my marriage would mean I’d failed, that I hadn’t learned anything from what happened to them. I’m also afraid of hurting someone I care about, even though the marriage is making us both unhappy. Then there’s the fear of being alone. I haven’t really lived by myself since that first year after college.

To make matters worse, my Director of International Marketing job ended when the company was sold back in December. I’ve just started a new position within the company, and I’m trying to find some stability in my life. How am I possibly going to deal with ending my marriage on top of all this?

Then there are our dogs. I can’t imagine leaving them behind, so I need to find somewhere to live where they’ll be welcome.

As I lie there writing to my executive coach, I keep coming back to something she’s asked me: What’s stopping you from doing something?

At first, I tell her I’m waiting for my spouse to come to the realization that our marriage is over. Then I write:

“But that’s only part of it.”

Hmmm. There’s something else I’m afraid of. What if I give the relationship another chance and get pulled back into the same old patterns?

In my email, I write:

“I just don’t want to get sucked in and lose myself again- that’s what I’m afraid of- losing me again…”

So here I am, afraid of what will happen if I leave, and afraid of what will happen if I stay. How the heck do you make a decision like that?

I actually ask my executive coach:

“Do you ever really know and feel like you’ve made the best decision?? And how do you know?”

During this period, she teaches me something that stays with me:

“Waiting is not living.”

She helps me see that I need to stop waiting and start living my whole life, not just part of it, and that it’s okay to want more.

I wish I could tell you those words gave me the courage to pack my bags the next morning and leave. Yeah, no. That’s not what happened.

There were more conversations, three marriage counselors, and plenty of back-and-forth. I had to find somewhere to live, figure out my finances, and come to terms with leaving a life I’d known for years. Eventually, in December 1999, I moved into a little house where I could have my dogs with me. It had taken me more than a year to get there.

And here I am, 27 years later, rereading those emails and wondering how much that year of waiting cost me. All those months of pretending everything was fine, going back and forth, worrying about what might happen if I left.

Some of my waiting was necessary, though. I needed a job, a home, and the support to make such an enormous change. Looking back, I can see how much was involved, and how difficult it was to separate what genuinely needed time from everything I was afraid might happen.

That’s gotten me thinking about the decisions you face in your own life. Have you ever put something off because you’re waiting for circumstances to change? Maybe it’s something in your business you’ve been struggling with, a conversation you’ve been avoiding, or a situation that no longer feels right.

You keep telling yourself you’ll deal with it when things settle down, when you have more information, when the timing is better, or when you’re finally ready. Meanwhile, you can spend so much time worrying about what a decision might cost you- the money, the relationships, the possibility of making the wrong choice- that you may not stop to consider what waiting is already costing you.

And maybe that’s why her words still resonate with me all these years later.

“Waiting is not living.”

So here’s something I’m curious about. Is there a decision you’ve been putting off because you’re waiting for the circumstances to be just right? And if you look a little deeper, is that really what’s stopping you?

You’re not alone.
Hands at your back.
Always,
🙂
Shannon

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P.S. I’ve been doing a lot of work around struggling with important/difficult decisions, especially at work and in life. Sometimes what’s stopping you goes much deeper than the decision itself, and that’s part of what I want to help you uncover in my Private Strategic Growth Sessions.

Bring me one important business decision, challenge, or opportunity you’re facing- something you’ve been struggling with or would benefit from having another experienced set of eyes look at.

Before our session, I’ll send you some questions so I can understand your situation and come prepared. Then we’ll spend 60 minutes looking at what’s happening, what you’ve tried, what you may be overlooking, and what your options are. Afterward, you’ll receive a transcript of our session, along with my written analysis of what we’ve uncovered and what I recommend you focus on next.

The special rate is $199 (normally $499), with a 100% Value Guarantee.

If you’ve been going around in circles with something in your business, I’d love to help you see it differently. Just hit this to email me, and we’ll take it from there.

🙂

Hands at your back.
Always,
Xox
Shannon

P.S. Is there a business decision you’ve been going around in circles about? Or a challenge you can’t quite figure out? Sometimes having another experienced set of eyes can help you see what you’ve been missing.

Bring me one important decision, challenge, or opportunity. I’ll prepare beforehand, then we’ll spend 60 minutes working through it together. Afterward, you’ll receive a transcript and my written analysis with recommended next steps.

Because you’re an eNewsletter subscriber, your investment for this Private Strategic Growth Session is $199 (normally $500), backed by my 100% Value Guarantee.

I’m only offering this to a small group of people. So if this resonates, click here and send me an email. I will reply with all the details. And I’d love to help you see it differently.

P.S.S. If you’re frustrated with ChatGPT not knowing you and having to repeat yourself, this may be the most important thing you invest in… I’ve created a one-on-one, hands-on training session (90 minutes) to create your Second Soulful Business Brain. In this 90-minute session, you’ll work with me, and I will help you create and tune your own ChatGPT Project so it becomes more like a second brain for your business.

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Weekly Photos:

1. Halloween is always a fun night with all the kids stopping by for some candy. We did our usual decorations and enjoyed all the fun costumes. Love our ghost with coffee and candy!
2. Alice and I are giving out candy. You never know who’s gonna show up at the front door. 
3. This was just an interesting photo with the white flowers. It almost looked like flour, making a curious shape. Could be a heart. And I liked the contrast of the red leaves above it. 
4. Now that it’s truly fall, it always makes for terrific sunrises, lots of clouds, and interesting skies. 
5. Ran into this young buck guy on the trail. He scared me. They’re so quiet. 
6. Here are two more deer on the trail. You can see the one on the left, and just next to him on the left, you can see the other little guy making his way up the hill. 
7. This was an amazing early morning sky. I had to take a picture. The contrast of the clouds in the sky. Look at it for a sec. It looks like a huge eagle or bird, with giant wings flapping to the left and right. 

P.S.S.S. Love Books as I Do? – I’m always reviewing the best nonfiction books – Where Buddha Meets Business.

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