I park my car in front of my dad’s house and climb the many stairs to the front door. It always feels weird coming back here. This had been my family’s home until my dad divorced my mom and moved in with his new family. Now it’s totally remodeled and overdecorated with lots of ornate things. The huge beveled glass doors are still there, but almost everything else feels new. I ring the doorbell as I rehearse what I might say to him after all these months. After their housekeeper lets me in, I go and sit down in the den. A minute or so later, I hear my dad…

I’ve been going to Sedona since I was in my late 30s, often during some of the biggest transitions of my life, when relationships were ending or beginning, when I was grieving, searching, healing, or trying to understand what came next. Seven years ago, Alice and I got married there with our families around us. My mom was there. This summer, we went back for the first time since our wedding.  My mom was gone. Both of my dogs were gone. My business, which had once been thriving, had been struggling for a while, and I was trying to figure out whether I could reinvent it again at 62. I…

I’m not sure how you’re supposed to know if you’re actually healing from grief. I’ve spent a lot of the past few months wondering about that. Because some days I feel like I’m moving forward. Other days it’s more like my favorite quote: fall down seven times, get up eight. And some days, I’m not entirely convinced I’m getting anywhere at all. Plus, it turns out, I may have been collecting evidence without realizing it. It’s 5:15 a.m., and it’s still dark outside, when I grab my coffee and settle into our kitchen nook with The Language of Letting Go (Daily Meditations) by Melody Beattie.  I’ve been reading this every…

A few days ago, I was sitting at my office desk, looking at the folder on my computer called “Old Journal Writing & Coach Emails.” Wow, I totally forgot I had all these electronically. For the past four months, I’ve been doing some research and continuing excavation of my past. I’m doing it mainly for the book I’m writing, working title When Your Mind Gets Too Loud. I’ve become fascinated by how quickly something can happen and how our minds take off with a whole story about what it means. My book is really about learning to catch that story before it takes over, so we can see what’s actually…