The often winding road to acceptance…

Core Article: The sometimes winding road to acceptance…

Paragraph I’m Pondering: “You will lose someone you can’t live without…”

Powerful Affirmations to Inspire: “My breath is an anchor…”

Cool Stuff: What happens when we find the Lochness Monster?

AI Info & Resources: Do you use AI for a “gut check”?

The often winding road to acceptance…

Thank you for all the feedback last week! If you missed the post, you can check it out here.

I started thinking and wondering: what was it that stood out and reached in to connect with so many of you reading this on a deep level?

Maybe it has to do with the acceptance process and the journey to get there. It’s not something you often can plan for, it’s that sudden “surprise” that happens, and it’s usually not good news…

Like when my Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, talk about acceptance… yeah, that was damn hard.

So I wanted to share more this week about the process BEFORE acceptance. The place where you get news, a surprise, and something or everything will change. Like with my dad’s diagnosis.

That process is grief, and all the stages that are so beautifully terrifying and laden with so many emotions wrapped up inside it.

Plus, these stages are not linear, which always ticks me off about grief.

Do you have as strong feelings as I do about it sometimes?

What is it about wanting to have a linear process, not a winding road?!

So it’s that pivotal moment that happens when you’re stuck right in it and you’re kind of frozen or in shock. Like you’re trapped and you have so many feelings that invade your being, and you just want to shut down.

For me, that moment was at my brother’s house for Thanksgiving fourteen years ago. When my stepmother had to pull us into another room to share the news that Dad had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and we needed to prepare ourselves…

Ummm, how does someone even do that?

Yeah, totally threw me when I got that news, especially cuz my then partner’s mom was battling the same disease…

This is when I started doing my deep dive into the emotional stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and then comes Acceptance. (Thank you Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, On Death and Dying.) Each stage has its own set of emotions, mental states, and attitudes.

What I discovered while working with my amazing Executive Coach Debbie Phillips, who helped me through this process more times than I could count, is that this process is not ever linear, it’s a sliding scale, or worse, a damn rollercoaster, taking you for a ride you never bought a ticket for and just want to get the heck off.

One way that seems to help is to look at the stages of grief as a “way of being” that you cycle through as you process grief. And it can be as frustrating as hell and very confusing.

So that day, as I stood there listening to my stepmother share this excruciatingly hard truth, the only thing I felt was pure denial and anger. How dare his mind betray him and rob him and us of his brilliance…

Dealing with any change, this is a time of new beginnings, endings, and more…

And what I’ve come to discover, as I shared last week, grief is not just about death. It’s about change, loss of a job, partner, spouse, unexpected plans/planes canceled, health issues, loss of a pet, a dream, and more…

Grief is a HUGE bucket.

And what if you’re faced with grief right now, like I am with my Mom?

What’s the first step? (These are loosely based on Tara Brach’s R.A.I.N. method I’ve shared here before.

Noticing what you’re feeling: tightness in your chest. Are you feeling anxious, sad, angry, or confused?
Be ok with it being here right now. My favorite thing to say to myself is “Oh, sadness is here right now…” Or say whatever feeling is here right now.
I usually put my hand on my chest and lightly pat it to ground and settle me as I say out loud what I’m feeling.
Then I do some investigating with my thinking brain: What’s triggered this feeling? What’s the story in my head making this worse? Do I have to go there? I can change my thoughts any time I want.
The last, most important step is nurture and self-care. This step is really important to honor yourself and take care of yourself as best you can in that moment. Whatever it means, making a cup of tea, calling a friend, writing, or whatever feels good in that moment.

For me, being on the plane last week, it was just connecting with a new friend and sharing my feelings of anger, frustration, and hopelessness.

By walking through the steps above, you honor yourself with kindness, compassion, and care. Plus, it will help reset and shift your energy and change the pattern. Maybe even help you create a new neural network in your brain about how you will deal with those feelings moving forward.

Grieving loss, change, and working through the stages, sometimes quickly, as I did on the plane last week, and sometimes slowly, as I did with my Dad having Alzheimer’s. And having to deal with the slow, painful decline of his memory.

The journey of grieving for my Dad was a long one, fraught with many obstacles. The major one is me living thousands of miles away and not being able to be with him as much as I’d like.

Until my stepmother asked for help, my brother and I went down there for a week.

I was not prepared for what I would be facing, even though I had researched the disease. I was dealing with a situation where one minute, my Dad looks at me and asks, “Who are you? Shouldn’t you be helping your parents?” Then the next minute, “Oh Shan, when did you get here? It’s so good to see you!”

Then he was gone… Probably the most jarring and deeply emotional feeling I’ve ever experienced in my life. Having my Dad not know who I was…

One of the hardest moments I won’t ever forget was when I had to leave him and go home, knowing this was probably the last time I’d ever see him.

Standing in the living room, I bent down to the chair where he was sitting to say goodbye. “Dad, it’s been so wonderful to spend so much time with you. I’m sorry, I need to get on a plane and go home. I love you.” Then the tears started coming. He looked at me quizically and said, “Why are you crying?” The tears kept coming. And as I was wiping them away, I said, “Dad, I don’t like leaving you; it’s hard to say goodbye.” And he said, “Don’t be sad, everything you need is right here…” Talk about a gut punch, OUCH. One of the hardest moments in my life

Sadly, he was gone within a year. And that’s a whole other story. I think one of the hardest things about it that hit home for me was that my Dad died once, when the disease robbed him of his memory. Then he died again when he finally left this planet.

His words echo often within me: “Everything you need is right here.”

Maybe that’s the reminder you and I need as we navigate the upcoming holiday season: that the strength, wisdom, grace, and even hope are already within you, waiting for your next step, whatever change or loss you might be facing.

The journey to acceptance may be short or long… And the real truth is, wherever you are right now, you’re not ever alone.

Grief changes shape, yet it never truly leaves. What I learned is that it softens when you let others walk beside you through it. Especially when you stop holding it all by yourself.

And what Debbie taught me, that has stayed with me for many years, is that a grief shared is a grief halved…

My hands are at your back, always.

P.S. I’m a good listener – Try ME! 🙂
If you ever want to talk, I’m here for you. With all that’s happening in the world today, I’ve carved out some time so you and I can talk this month.

And you can talk about ANYTHING on your mind—it’s my gift to you, no strings. Click here to access my calendar. I’m so looking forward to connecting with you.

Paragraph I’m Pondering

“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.”

~ Anne Lamott

Powerful Affirmations to Inspire

“I receive with gratitude, knowing that success is my natural state.”
“My breath is my anchor; it brings me home to myself.”
“I celebrate my progress and honor how far I’ve come.”

Cool Stuff

A little election history for you. Why do we vote on the first Tuesday of November? Where did that come from?
Interesting spin on the Lochness Monster, now that it’s back in the news. Hmmmmm….
I’m not sure I’d be up for this every November. Apparently, on Christmas Island, Australia, they need rakes to clear the crabs from the road??? What??? Yes, there’s a picture…

AI Info and Resources

This is a little bit on the creepy factor. Google’s Gemini AI can now access your email??? Hell no… The scary part is that a friend of mine shared yesterday how you can do deep dives into people and their backgrounds. My mind’s going “Hold up, I sure as heck don’t need any more information, I’m good.”
“The Rise of the AI Gut Check…” Interesting article about how people are using AI for gut checks. I have to admit I’ve done that once or twice, interesting stuff.
If you’ve been wondering what the best mobile AI apps are, well then, you know what to do here. I use my ChatGPT App more than I thought I ever would; it does come in handy. And I love the voice feature where we both talk to each other. Yeah, I’m kind of a geek.

Weekly Photos

Now you might think I’ve lost it, and it wouldn’t be the first time. And yes, look closer, there is a tiny heart in my head. I was dusting off the counter from crumbs, and something said to look at my hand. So I did. And there was the tiniest heart-shaped crumb I’ve ever seen. Yep, I see hearts every day…
This guy, wow, we both scared each other on the walk. He was with his harem, a bunch of young females, all out for breakfast. There he was, just staring at me… So I kind of backed away slowly… no one was hurt and all was well.
I love the Sac trail when the seasons change. You can see the leaves on the trail, and you can see the colors on the trees. I do love a good, cool, crisp, leaf color-changing fall…
Yeah, you can’t beat the fall reflection in the river. Love these types of photos when the river is calm and glasslike.
There’s me trying to get a selfie with Mt. Shasta. And she’s so small, you can barely see her… Check out the bigger pic of her I shared below.
Meet Jax, she’s a 3-year-old Golden Retriever. Oh, how I love Goldens. I had two of them way long ago. They are hiking fiends. Jax is carrying a stick; you can’t really see it with all the shadows. She’s living her best life. And I’m just happy to be on a new hike (We went up to the top of Chemise Peak.) with my friend Hannah and her dog…
Mt Shasta has the perfect amount of snowy stripes this time of year. Pretty soon, she’ll be covered in white. I am grateful. I love being so close to the mountains, so healing.

P.S.S. Need a HUG? If you’re anything like me and sometimes just need a hug and no one’s around, you have to check out my friend Ken’s daily hug. The best part is, his hugs are free!

P.S.S.S.New Invitation – I’m going to launch my next Soulful Marketing Accelerator Co-hort in late January. 🙂 If you’re longing for like-minded community and ready to move through your fears to grow a purpose–driven business rooted in authenticity and aligned with your dream clients… Welllll. Go here to be first in line when I reopen the doors again. Would love to have you.

P.S.S.S.S. Whenever You’re Ready: Here are 3 Ways I can make an impact on creating greater success in your business using marketing that’s aligned with your mission and values without feeling like you’re selling your soul.

1. Make Money Now Sheet – It’s one of the bonuses in my 7-Step Soulful Marketing System. I wanted to give it to you for free to help you create more success.

2. Love Books Like I Do? – I’m always reviewing the best nonfiction books – Where Buddha Meets Business.

3. Get my proven 7-Step Soulful Marketing System. It gives you the framework you need to implement authentic and connected marketing using online customer experiences and launching your products, services, or courses. It will help you create greater success.

It’s a simple system, especially if you love to read like me. There’s no video or audio. Plus, you get my proven templates, tools, and worksheets, all with tremendous value. And I’m pricing it incredibly low so it can be more accessible to more people. 🙂

Did someone forward this to you? If so, get this eNewsletter regularly with my compliments by clicking this link. And if you’re in the mood to share, simply send this URL to others: https://www.soulfulmarketingsystem.com/soulful-marketing-enewsletter.

I appreciate your sharing. Thank you!

Some legalese: Copyright © 2025 SoulfulMarketing.com All rights reserved. SoulfulMarketing.com is a division of McCaffery Communications LLC. All rights reserved. You may forward this to others. Yet, no reproducing, republishing in any other form or by any other means without written permission.

Let’s Connect on Social Media!
Facebook

Instagram

Please follow and like us: