The Question I Wasn’t Expecting to Hear…

I’m exhausted as I scan my boarding pass and walk to the door of the plane. I’m finally headed back home to CA after spending the past 12 days in Houston helping with my sister’s puppies. 

As I settle in my seat, I realize I forgot to check if the middle seat was still open. The flight attendant announces that this is a “full flight.” It’s then that I see the very tall gentleman heading into my row. As he settles into his middle seat, I see a book in his hand: Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. 

After he puts the book in the seatback pocket, I smile and say to him, “I love that book.” 

He looks at me and says, “Interesting, I just picked it up a week or so ago and just started reading it.” I tell him he was in for a treat cuz that’s a very special book, and Anne Lamott is a writer like no other. 

It’s then that he turns to me as he settles into his seat and asks me, “Are you a writer?”

Wow, I had never been asked that question before. Weird, I’ve never thought of myself as a writer. I do love to write, like this eNewsletter that I’ve written for years. 🙂

Yet for a long time, I carried around the belief that I wasn’t a good writer, mostly because of a boss I had when I was running Corporate Communications. She said that I was a terrible writer.

All of that ran through my head before I finally looked at him, smiled, and said, “Yes, I’m a writer of sorts. I love to write, and I’ve had a weekly eNewsletter for years.”

That one question started an hour-long conversation.

His name was David. He had spent much of his career doing medical and scientific writing, so writing something creative or personal felt strange to him. 

He kept asking me questions, and I kept asking him questions right back. We were both curious, lifelong learners, and the conversation just kept going.

I started sharing what I knew about writing, which turned out to be a whole lot more than I realized.

I told him about Natalie Goldberg, Julia Cameron, Bernadette Jiwa, and the decision he needed to make about whether he wanted to write fiction or nonfiction. We talked about handwriting versus typing, Morning Pages, and why stories need emotional resonance and connection.

What surprised and touched me the most was when he started taking notes in the back of Anne Lamott’s book!

We talked about so much more than writing, too. Medicine, marriage, politics, the uncertainty of the world, and our shared habit of reading The New York Times. At some point, I shared my blog with him and told him my email address was there. I answer all my emails personally, and I’d love to hear from him if he ever wanted to reach out.

At one point, David told me he wasn’t even supposed to be on our flight. His family’s flight from Newark had been canceled. They were rerouted through Houston, and the only seats left were in the middle.

I have to admit, I believe in kismet and chance meetings. This one felt like both.

Somewhere between Houston and Los Angeles, I realized we weren’t really talking about writing anymore. 

I was helping him think more clearly and focus more intently on what he wanted to say and why. He told me so many stories as a doctor that would make excellent writing projects for him. I asked questions that helped him see which stories had something deeper inside them.

Then he told me how much he disliked promoting the webinars he created for Olympus. Sharing them on social media felt like tooting his own horn. So I asked him to look at it a little differently.

What if the webinars weren’t really about promoting himself? What if they were about sharing the latest research with other doctors so they could help more people?

He smiled, nodded, and thanked me for the new perspective.

And today, as I’m writing this, I’m still thinking about our conversation.

It made me wonder how many of us are still answering questions about ourselves using stories we picked up years ago, instead of looking at the life we’re actually living now.

For years, I carried the story that I wasn’t a very good writer. Yet there I was at 35,000 feet, talking about writing with a stranger who was taking notes in the back of Bird by Bird. And I began to see something else, too.

Writing and coaching may look like two different things. What’s interesting is that they come from the same place. Both are ways I guide someone to slow down, ask better questions, think more clearly, and see something they couldn’t quite see before.

After we landed and began gathering our things, David packed up his book and said, “I’ve truly enjoyed our conversation. I’m so glad I was carrying this book.”

Yeah, me too. Because if he hadn’t been carrying it, we may never have had the conversation. And I may not have come face to face with an old story about myself that no longer fits.

One more interesting kismet part of all this?

David was a gastroenterologist, just like my dad. And he looked a little like him, too.

Hands at your back.
Always,
Xox
Shannon

P.S. Bernadette Jiwa’s 5 C’s Story Scaffold: Click Here.
My Reviews on These Writing Books:
– Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way
– Bernadette Jiwa: Story Driven
Other Books I Recommend Around Story and Writing:
Building a StoryBrand: Clarify Your Message So Customers Will Listen by Donald Miller
Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott
Storyworthy: Engage, Teach, Persuade, and Change Your Life Through the Power of Storytelling by Matthew Dicks
Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within by Natalie Goldberg
On Writing: A Memoir of The Craft by Steven King

Weekly Photos:

I’m back home now, and here are some pics I took while in Houston and some from home as well.

1. Murphy is looking out the window, and Milo is looking at me. They’re always looking out the window, watching all the birds and various movements happening in the yard.
2. Look at this little fellow I found wandering across the path. Milo and Murphy strangely were more interested in the walk than saying hello to Mr. Turtle.
3. Yep, always finding a heart rock in the world somewhere, or do they just find me?
4. This picture was taken of Shasta Bally in late July, right before I left for Houston. The sun was hitting it just so that it looked like snow. Yeah, it’s not snow. 🙂
5. Ok, so you may think I’ve lost it. Yet even in an “ouchie,” I find a heart. This was a scab on my hand from a dog scratch… 😉
6. These trails near my house are so dry in the summer, and dusty too. Yet, I do love the trees that shade the path.
7. Murphy is such a character. We believe he’s a Border Collie/Sheltie mix. That’s him hugging his new toy.

P.S.S. NEW-Personal Invite- Looking to Interview Women Founders & Execs: I’m interviewing thoughtful women for my new book about what happens when the voice in your head gets too loud and how to question the stories in your head to trust yourself again. If this speaks to something you’ve experienced and you’d be open to sharing your story with me, I’d love to talk with you. It’s a relaxed 20-minute conversation. You can choose a time that works for you here

P.S. S.S. Love Books as IDo? – I’m always reviewing the best nonfiction books – Where Buddha Meets Business.

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