What’s Holding You Back From the Success You Deserve?

This question I’ve been asked countless of times from coach’s, mentors, therapists, and many an event speaker. In fact, I just got back from listening to Larry Winget speak at the Glazer Kennedy Super Conference in Dallas and his approach was more like a baseball bat to the forehead, but I think it worked.  I know I GOT it- what he was saying… let me explain…

If you don’t know Larry he has several best-selling books out there- one called- Shut Up, Stop Whining & Get a Life, my other favorite is- You’re Broke Because You Want To Be. He has an interesting no holds bar approach to success and creating a better life for yourself. His approach for me was very refreshing and different from other personal development type folks out there.

The real thing that’s holding you back from your success is honestly, well— YOU!  I know that, I’ve known that about myself for a while.  If I don’t like my life, I have no one to blame but myself, I’ve created it. And I KNOW I will get a lot of people who won’t like this post, but guess what I’m ok with that.  I want people to either love me or not. I’m not crazy enough to want everyone to like me, I know that’s not possible, and I’m really ok with that.

So if you’re still reading—here’s a transformative exercise you can do right now to kick your success in high gear— Take about 20 mins and get out 3 sheets of paper.

  1. First piece of paper-  Write down where you are in your life right now—in specific areas like finance, physical, spiritual, relationships, business, etc.
  2. Next, write down where you WANT to be
  3. Last, write down what you have to GIVE UP in order get to where you want to be—

The real key here is STEP 3—Writing down what you will GIVE UP.  Most people create a plan of HOW they will get there, not realizing that they may need to give up some things in order to get where they want to go. This is how you will reach true success—giving up whatever is making your broke, unsuccessful, unhealthy, and whatever is keeping you from being financially successful.  This is huge.  Don’t want, do this exercise now and let me know your thoughts and how you do.  The last key is you have to really want success bad enough to do WHATEVER it takes to get there. Come join me, let’s do that in 2012 together!

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Decide That You Will Succeed & Then Do it!

Sitting here in Dallas at the Glazer-Kennedy Superconference I’m reminded what success really is… In fact, I just heard Joan Rivers speak and then met her afterwards.  What an inspiring woman. Not only is she funny, she’s also resilient and incredibly successful with her jewelry business. She has the biggest most successful jewelry business on television.

The lesson I learned from her today is that she had many failures along the way, and lost her husband (he committed suicide) because of these failures.  What I loved about Joan is that not only is she resilient, she always says a resounding “Yes” to her success. I love this because I’ve actually spent lots of time helping and working with clients to say yes and to achieve their goals, from creating great surveys to having successful product launches.

While these aspects are vital to the success of any business, what’s most vital is that first step: Deciding that you will succeed and then DOING it, taking action.

Believe it or not, this simple idea is one of the biggest roadblocks to success. People will start a business because they really want to achieve certain goals, whether personal or monetary. They lay their plans and they start executing those plans.

And all the while, they’ve still not decided that they can do it and that they’ll be successful! They treat their business like an experiment to find out if they will succeed. That’s opening the door to failure.

If you start a business, but haven‘t truly decided that you have what it takes to succeed, every obstacle becomes a roadblock. It becomes your excuse to give up and say, “Oh, well, I tried!”

If you’re going to start a new business, before you spend one cent, ask yourself a very important question:

“Can I do this?”

Consider the question honestly and seriously. Look at yourself and what you’re capable of, and then answer the question. If your answer is “Yes” (and I sure hope so!), then it’s time to get started.

Commit to your answer, dig in, and don‘t look back. Let go of the word “if” and embrace the word “when.” It’s no longer “If we make this goal.” It’s “When we make this goal,” and “when we succeed.”  After that, you’re just dealing with the how’s. That’s when you can find people like me to help.

In an earlier blog, I talked about how I almost gave up on my business. Times were tough, and I was exhausted. I promise you, if I had any major doubts about my ability to persevere, those doubts would have stopped me back then… and I’d be back in corporate America today.

There are many aspects of starting your own business. So many, it can be overwhelming, because they’re all important.

But to be honest, it starts with committing to the answer you give to one important question: “Can I do this.” …And then answering with a resounding “YES!”

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You are who you hang out with…

Have you ever heard this statement before? “You are a product of who you spend the most time with.” I’ve heard this a number of times in the past two years since I started my own business. In fact my friend and Master Coach, Rob Berkley just wrote about this and tells me and our Mastermind group this all the time. I think I finally get it now…

Me and Kristi Frank at the GKIC Superconference in NashvilleI just came from a very inspiring and idea filled event- Glazer-Kennedy Insider’s Circle Marketing SuperConference in Nashville. It was amazing to me how being surrounded by immensely successful people really elevated my thinking and opened my eyes to a much bigger way of thinking and doing things. Instead of figuring out how to grow my business incrementally, I left with some much larger ideas on how I can grow my business fast in a much shorter time frame. This is what happens when you hang out with incredibly successful people more often. That’s me in the photo with Kristi Frank, she was one of the original members of Donald Trump’s The Apprentice.

I have to admit, it did take me a while to get this. I really had to take a hard look at myself and who I was spending time with on a regular basis. I really needed to get rid of those people that, to put it bluntly, sucked the life right out of me. I realized if I wanted to move forward in my work and my life I needed to try to upgrade my friends and colleagues. It takes immense courage to be able to look at who you’re spending time with and ask the question- are these the people who are going to lift me up in work and life or are they going to bring me down? If you want to become really successful, the best thing you can do is hang around with hugely successful people.

The next courageous step is to move towards letting go of those folks who are bringing you down. Take a look at who you’re spending the majority of your time with and seriously look at upgrading your colleagues and friends. Take it from me, you deserve to be incredibly successful and happy. Why not have people in your life who are supportive and want to help you get there.

When you do this exercise, you are basically focusing on your soft skills. You know, how self-aware are you to “see” who those people are that you need to let go of. Are you willing to take that risk?

One thing I did was join a Mastermind group that meets every other month. Hanging out with these successful business owners has improved my business tremendously. In addition I also travel to two – three conferences a year where I get to hang out with entrepreneurs, like Kristi Frank, who are making thousands and millions of dollars. As I said earlier, you are who you hang out with, so why wouldn’t you want to hang out with people who are hugely successful. Don’t wait, upgrade your colleagues and friends now. Join a networking group, a mastermind group, go to a conference that attracts people you want to hang out with that can help you be successful- you deserve it! [digg=http://digg.com/business_finance/You_are_a_product_of_Who_you_hang_out_with]

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